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How to Watch FX Live Without CableHow To Watch AMC Without CableHow to Watch ABC Without CableHow to Watch Paramount Network Without CableIn 1914, Gertie the Dinosaur redefined the possibilities of filmmaking. This groundbreaking animated short chronicled the antics of its titular prehistoric creature in a single black-and-white static wide shot. Nonetheless, Winsor McCay’s animation imbued Gertie with such a hysterical, anarchic personality that this short still dazzles eons later. The restrictions of animated cinema circa. 1914 ultimately benefited Gertie the Dinosaur. Forced to focus only on a dinosaur causing mischief, eating, and dancing birthed fully uninterrupted dinosaur cinema nirvana.
Such vivid personality is largely absent from Jurassic World Rebirth. David Koepp’s script for this seventh Jurassic Park installment has nothing as fun as Gertie chomping on a prehistoric elephant’s tail and tossing the creature into a nearby lake. Even removing comparisons to Gertie the Dinosaur, Rebirth is a cinematic shrug. While rarely as offensive as the worst Jurassic World installments, it’s still often the filmmaking equivalent of sleepwalking.

Following a brief prologue set in 2008, director Gareth Edwards largely negates everything from Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’s cliffhanger ending through all of Jurassic World Dominion. Specifically, our modern atmosphere has helped wean dinos out of mainstream society. The few surviving thunder lizards sought refuge just a smidge north of the equator. As one might guess, that forbidden zone is exactly where rich pharmaceutical representative Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) wants to send mercenary Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) and her team, Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), and Bobby Atwater (Ed Skrein) to retrieve blood from three massive dinosaurs to develop a life-saving drug.
The trio is hard-boiled guns-for-hire, only looking out for number one in search of the almighty dollar. Except not really. They’re the softest mercenaries ever captured on film. This gaggle’s more prone to wistfulness over lost loved ones. Two characters even speak French, a “non-threatening” foreign language for white Western audiences.
This character trait informs a weird Rebirth shortcoming. It’s so darn mopey. Too much of the first act, especially, is dry sequences of uninvolving humans trading sob stories, dabbing away tears, and being otherwise morose.

Eventually, the Rebirth heroes, including bookish non-mercenary dinosaur expert Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), reach a new third island. Somehow not yet seen in six previous features, it is nonetheless full of dinosaurs and InGen labs. On the way, their ranks also swell by three when the team takes on Reuben Delgado (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) and his two kids after dinosaurs capsize their boat.
Rebirth juggles an absurd number of humans that Koepp eventually splits up into two wildly disparate groups. Keeping everyone separate constantly undercuts each subplot’s tension. Hopping back and forth between uninvolving groups isn’t a recipe for edge-of-your-seat entertainment. Meanwhile, the excessive number of characters eschews the streamlined narrative pleasures of the classic blockbusters Rebirth chases. Edwards and company may mimic the on-screen text font of previous Jurassic films, but can’t tap what made them compelling.
At least some of the dinosaur action looks solid, which might be enough for viewers who just want to hear those beasts roar again. A set piece where Delgado and his family evade a T-Rex on a river is a particular highlight. And not just because it’s undeniably neat to see that passage from Michael Crichton’s original Jurassic Park book finally make it to the silver screen! Largely devoid of dialogue, this visually oriented scene has a solid sense of pacing and scale, making the tension tremendously enjoyable.

It’s also a darkly amusing detail that the sequence contrasts Delgado’s very human and urgent desire to survive with the T-Rex’s extremely nonchalant animal behavior, such as groggily going for a drink of water right after waking up. This and other dino-centric set pieces make terrific use of practical Thailand backdrops crisply realized in 35mm camerawork. Edwards and cinematographer John Mathieson’s work is perfectly cromulent in a big Dolby Theatre auditorium. Returning to Jurassic World, at least, hasn’t resulted in Rebirth looking like a stale streaming movie.
Unfortunately, the feature itself suffers greatly from a rudimentary execution. All those early, sullen scenes establish Rebirth as a movie mostly asleep at the wheel. There’s no energy or spark in its character dynamics or narrative turns, all of which excessively channel its predecessors. Krebs, for instance, rolled right off an assembly line of corporate Jurassic Park baddies that previously produced The Lost World and Fallen Kingdom antagonists. Just as egregious is a “beautiful” sequence of humans staring in awe at long-neck dinosaurs, lazily echoing one of the first Park’s most beloved sequences. A climactic convenience store showdown with a velociraptor/pterodactyl hybrid, meanwhile, recreates Lex and Tim evading raptors in a kitchen.
Nobody’s having fun in front of or behind the camera. Edwards and company are just half-heartedly delivering what people have already seen before, rather than taking the Jurassic Park saga into absurd or audacious new directions. Nowhere is that more apparent than in Alexandre Desplat’s score. Previous Edwards directorial effort Rogue One already suffered from a score too reliant on pre-established leitmotifs. Rebirth takes that rehashing to a new level with its incessant regurgitation of famous John Williams tracks.

Most baffling is a rendition of the Jurassic Park theme during an early, tender dino-free conversation between Bennett and Loomis. Was the scene so boring that Edwards decided to throw in a tune audiences like so they wouldn’t fall asleep? If so, a better solution would have been to give the characters some sense of personality. Johansson, Ali, and Bailey have nothing to work with their flatly written parts. Meanwhile, Garcia-Rulfo, a talented actor in other projects, performs absolutely terribly with comically poor line deliveries. Given that his character is often the emotional center of key Rebirth sequences, that shortcoming frequently proves fatal.
It’s only fitting Jurassic World Rebirth’s finale should be such a flat line. Centering around villainous new mutant dinosaur D-Rex, which looks like the Rancor and Alien: Resurrection’s Newborn fused, it ends the film as it started: with minimal personality or energy. Perhaps no movie can live up to the original Jurassic Park’s artistry. However, that doesn’t excuse this installment not trying to be fun entertainment on its own terms. Rebirth’s embrace of a bizarrely morose tone and too many human characters will leave audiences everywhere yearning for Gertie the Dinosaur’s antics.
Jurassic World Rebirth stalks cinemas starting July 4.