There are differing theories on how to adapt a work to a different medium. Some argue for something near identical. Others want new artists to take new risks while reflecting the source materials’ themes. And others have no issue with the total transformation of the work, provided the result is quality. The Shining is arguably an ur-example of the latter, as Kubrick takes the characters and settings of the King novel and infuses them with his own obsessions and interests. It should surprise no one that 56 Days, the Karyn Usher and Lisa Zwerling-created adaptation of Catherine Ryan Howard’s eponymous novel, is no Shining. However, it is nonetheless disappointing how much it misses the mark.

Shining is, perhaps, a bizarre comparison point, but please stick with me here. In that film, despite the anger it caused King, Kubrick at least selected themes that complemented the source material. Nothing about the adaptation runs in direct opposition to the original. In 56 Days, on the other hand, the series settles on a conclusion that is almost exactly the opposite of the book’s choices. Could it still be salvaged? Maybe. To do so, though, the show would need to offer characters whom the audience can root for or, at least, enjoy their misbehaving. Instead, it aggressively pursues the opposite path. And not just with the leads. Almost every character of significance is an unappealing on-screen presence for one reason or another.

Oliver Kennedy (Avan Jogia) and Ciara Wyse (Dove Cameron) run into each other one afternoon in a local market. The random encounter rapidly leads to a date followed by passionate infatuation. There are passionate first kisses in front of a poor Uber driver who absolutely did not consent to be involved. Daylight alley sex against brick walls. Impressively flexible acts of cowgirl into backbend coitus. We stan lovers for whom good sex is only worthwhile if the difficulty is high. Of course, that random meeting is not as accidental as either of them pretends. Neither is who they say they are, literally and figuratively. But you know how it is to be in lust. Every red flag becomes easy to ignore.

Meanwhile, 56 days later (oooo, that’s where that comes from!), Detectives Lee Reardon (Karla Souza) and Dorian Missick (Karl Connolly) arrive at the scene of a mostly dissolved corpse. A murder that absolutely connects with our lying lovers.

Cameron makes an interesting femme fatale. She looks pale and fragile, but can get flinty in the blink of an eye. For the sake of the erotic aspect of the film, she is aware of how to showcase her attractiveness as necessary, including how to modulate it with a disconcerting undercurrent. However, as scripted, Ciara is very bad at being a femme fatale. She is sloppy and not in a “she’s gotten in too deep way.” She’s sloppy, as in ill-prepared, which runs counter to her whole character.

It also makes Jogia’s Oliver look especially dumb. She consistently makes errors in front of him that he overlooks or simply never clocks. As a result, the series expects us to believe he almost realizes she’s deceptive because she doesn’t know about the nickname for the NASA logo. As though she didn’t nearly fumble the bag three times in the episode before that moment. Still, a bumbling femme fatale and a dumb as rocks patsy (with his own dark hidden past!) isn’t necessarily a dealbreaker.

No, Souza and Connolly provide the proverbial nail in the coffin. Both are the best actors in the series. Unfortunately, they bring those skills to bear in the name of two of the least pleasant characters with big roles in my recent memory. Every moment of them on-screen is nails on a chalkboard as they bicker and whine and seemingly do everything possible to gain each other’s antipathy AND ruin their investigation. A dumb erotic thriller with some decently choreographed erotic encounters is a fine way to while away a week or so of viewing. But these two are on hand to ensure any libidinous joy 56 Days may offer will be quickly eliminated.

All of this is before two twists, created wholesale for the series, arrive. These will likely piss off the book’s fans. They’ll also annoy viewers who are totally unfamiliar with the source material. Because even if you don’t know what’s “supposed to happen,” you can recognize something executed poorly. Moreover, they feed into a weird, fairy-tale-adjacent ending that feels both narratively unsatisfying and a betrayal of at least one of the characters. It’s the kind of choice where no one is happy. If there is one thing I’ve learned about eroticism in my life, it is that at least someone involved should enjoy it. 56 Days evidently was not taught the same lesson.

56 Days fills Prime Video’s bathtubs with acid starting February 18.

Watch the 56 Days Trailer here: