Five Nights at Freddy's
I have never played Five Nights at Freddy’s. I need to make that abundantly clear before proceeding with this review. Continue Reading →
I have never played Five Nights at Freddy’s. I need to make that abundantly clear before proceeding with this review. Continue Reading →
If you like loud noise jump scares, you’re going to love The Exorcist: Believer. Continue Reading →
When The Purge film series began, it attempted to create a heightened, ultraviolent version of the future that was both laughably over-the-top and an accurate reflection of the current political climes. They created a dystopia that was vaguely familiar but could still leave you rolling your eyes at its implausibility. For those unfamiliar with the franchise, the concept is as follows: On one night each year, the US government legalizes all crime, including murder, in the hopes of providing an outlet for Americans’ rage. It ultimately leads to an overall decrease in crime and an (ostensibly) utopian society. Continue Reading →
In many ways, M3GAN is as much about its marketing as it is about the movie being marketed. That's hardly a revelatory statement, especially when it comes to horror films: Studios and producers have breathlessly promised thrills and chills with ever more outrageous gimmicks ever since the days of William Castle offering life insurance policies for audiences who "die of fright." With Blumhouse's M3GAN, the secret lies in its titular robo-tot, a cutesy android with snatched wig, Union Jack dickie bow, and murderous dance moves primed for TikTok virality, all of which have been over the film's marketing for months now. So it's a relief to learn that M3GAN has bite to go with its meme-ready bark, a horror-comedy as much about the ways we use technology to fulfill every human need as it is a sassy robot tween popping and locking with a paper cutter in its hand. Continue Reading →
Where do we even begin? Continue Reading →
Stephen King is best known for his massive novels that require weight training just to hold. Entire forest ecosystems have been destroyed so we can have The Stand on our bookshelves. These epic tales are his bread and butter, but if you want to get a pure distillation of what makes King a gifted horror writer and storyteller, check out his short story collections. They provide the strong, grounded characters facing terrifying circumstances that he’s famous for in his longer novels, but in a digestible format. He can be hit or miss (even the best writers may have stinkers when they write an astonishing ten pages a day like King) but if one short story is garbage, chances are the next one will be a fun time. Continue Reading →
It’s well past time for a mainstream horror movie that addresses the very real dangers the LGBTQIA+ community faces. Self-proclaimed “allies” in particular need to see what it’s like to have your bodily autonomy, your right to love, and even your right just to live peacefully put at constant risk, by people who think they’re acting on the side of righteousness and virtue. Continue Reading →
Gather around, children, and let Auntie Gena tell you a story about days gone by. Long ago, up till around 1984, kids used to run free in the streets from dawn till dusk, with virtually no adult supervision. Was it a better time? Not really, just different, and it all came to an end with the collective belief that bad things happen to children who aren’t carefully watched at all times. Now it’s swung so far in the other direction that allowing your children to walk themselves to school may result in a visit from child protective services. Scott Derrickson’s The Black Phone takes place in the time before, when parents didn’t worry about monsters until they were almost under their noses. Continue Reading →
Did you leave the gas on? Or does this movie stink? I’ll be here all week, folks. Continue Reading →
With the release of The Rise of Skywalker and the upcoming Ghostbusters: Afterlife, the term “fan service” has come to mean going to extremes in order to please fickle audiences of a TV series or film franchise. Though framed as an acknowledgment and appreciation of fan support, it feels forced and phony, an Easter egg hunt where a plot should be. While David Gordon Green and Danny McBride’s 2018 reboot of Halloween was far from a perfect film, they were determined to make it their own, rather than continuing the same interminable, by then thoroughly ridiculous storyline. Its sequel, Halloween Kills, however, feels like whatever Green and McBride were originally trying to do was shoved aside in favor of winks and nods at the “true” fans of the series. The body count is much, much bigger, and almost laughably gory, but if you’re looking for any kind of coherent plot and characters not doing anything but the stupidest things imaginable, look elsewhere. Continue Reading →
The first two entries in the newest Welcome to the Blumhouse collection are a flawed pair of scary films. Welcome to Welcome to the Blumhouse! This annual anthology collection of four new horror films from Get Out producers Blumhouse Productions, debuting on Amazon streaming, is back after its inaugural run in 2020. Conceptually, this seems like a nifty idea, a way to tackle bold new filmmaking concepts or styles that may not be as broadly accessible as theatrical Blumhouse fare like Fantasy Island. Unfortunately, titles like The Lie made the first iteration of Welcome to the Blumhouse feel like a grab-bag of movies that just weren’t good enough for the big screen. This year, the four movies comprising the second edition of Welcome to the Blumhouse are all apparently fixated on institutionalized horror. The first two installments that have dropped (the other two films will premiere on October 9) are Bingo Hell and Black as Night, each tackling both a different strain of horror storytelling and a unique form of systemically ingrained injustice. A common trait across the pair of features, unfortunately, is a lack of consistently high-quality filmmaking. Here’s to hoping the next final two entries in this year’s collection wrap things up on a much stronger note. Continue Reading →
The Purge franchise, spanning five films and a now-canceled two-season television series, was never one to traffic in nuance or subtlety, or even optimism. Its premise is born of a kind of didactic, Shirley Jackson-esque thought experiment: what if all crimes, even murder, were legal for 12 hours? How would people react, and who would they become, when they could let out their raging ids just for a night? From its second film, the Carpenter-esque The Purge: Anarchy, series creator James DeMonaco tacked on a third question: What if *gasp* the rich and powerful were just using the Purge as a means to cull the poor, the marginalized, and nonwhite? Continue Reading →
Ring the alarm next time a movie tacks “Blumhouse’s” to the front of its title. Is it a marketing tactic? Is it a sign of desperation? How about a warning to heed instead? Hell, is it all three? It might be a little early to tell, but it’s starting to feel like the latter. Continue Reading →
One of the major concerns people have before cutting the cord is potentially losing access to live sports. But the great thing about live TV streaming services is that you never lose that access. Minus the contracts and complications of cable, these streaming services connect you to a host of live channels, including ESPN. So ... How to Watch ESPN With A Free Trial
To date, Paramount Network has only two original shows on air right now: Yellowstone and Bar Rescue. The network seems to have its hands full with on-demand streaming service Paramount+, which is constantly stacked with a fresh supply of new shows. But Yellowstone and Bar Rescue are so sturdy and expansive that the network doesn’t ... How to Watch Paramount Network With a Free Trial
Previously “Women’s Entertainment,” We TV has since rebranded to accurately reflect its name and be a more inclusive lifestyle channel. It’s home to addictive reality gems like Bold and Bougie, Bridezillas, Marriage Boot Camp, and The Untold Stories of Hip Hop. And when it’s not airing original titles, it has on syndicated shows like 9-1-1, ... How to Watch WE TV With a Free Trial
For many sports fans, TNT is a non-negotiable. It broadcasts NBA, MLB, NHL, college basketball, and All Elite Wrestling matches. And, as a bonus, it also has reruns of shows like Supernatural, Charmed, and NCIS, as well as films like The Avengers, Dune, and Justice League. But while TNT used to be a cable staple, ... How to Watch TNT Sports With A Free Trial
It’s no coincidence that many of today’s biggest comedians found their footing on Comedy Central: the channel is a bastion of emerging comic talents. It served as a playground for people like Nathan Fielder (Fielder For You), Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson (Broad City), Tim Robinson (Detroiters), and Dave Chappelle (Chappelle’s Show) before they shot ... How to Watch Comedy Central With a Free Trial
You’d be hard-pressed to find a bad show airing on FX. The channel has made a name for itself as a bastion of high-brow TV, along with HBO and AMC. It’s produced shows like Atlanta, Fargo, The Americans, Archer, and more recently, Shogun. But because it’s owned by Disney, it still airs several blockbusters in ... How to Watch FX With a Free Trial
If you’re a fan of true crime and insider docu-shows like The First 48 and Court Cam, then you’re probably already familiar with A&E. The cable channel is home to other reality TV gems like Hoarders, Duck Dynasty, and Storage Wars (they’ve moved on to spin-offs like Road Wars, Customer Wars, and Prison Wars now). ... How to Watch A&E With A Free Trial
From classics like Unplugged, Cribs, Jersey Shore, and Catfish to newer favorites like RuPaul’s Drag Race (and Untucked!) and Love & Hip Hop, MTV is still the place to be, if not for the latest in music and pop culture, then at least for solidly entertaining reality TV. Unlike before, you don’t actually need cable ... How to Watch MTV With a Free Trial
Comedy fans know Adult Swim is where it’s at. Home to shows like Rick and Morty, Robot Chicken, and The Eric Andre Show, the Cartoon Network programming block has become so big and successful that it’s practically overrun its home channel. It helps that it also shares rights to popular adult animation like Bob’s Burgers, ... How to Watch Adult Swim With a Free Trial
There are few things in the world more thrilling to women than a juicy true crime series. NBC seems to know that pretty well, hence the rebranding of The Oxygen Channel from light lifestyle fare to hardcore true crime. Here, you’ll find investigative shows like Cold Justice and Dateline, specials like Homicide for the Holidays, ... How to Watch Oxygen With a Free Trial
Sometimes, you can’t ask for anything more than funny and smart shows, which FXX has in spades. As the cable network home of The Simpsons, it airs new episodes of the show weekly, even dedicating an entire Sunday afternoon block to it. This is accompanied by shows like Futurama, King of the Hill, Family Guy, ... How to Watch FXX With a Free Trial
Much like HBO and AMC, FX always has at least one show on that has everyone talking. Right now, that’s Shogun and Fargo (please go see those now if you haven’t yet). But in the past, it’s also seen the rise of now-cult classics like American Horror Story, Atlanta, Sons of Anarchy, and It’s Always ... How to Get an FX Subscription Without Cable
As the (smaller) sister channel of ABC and The Disney Channel, Freeform is home to some pretty entertaining but still wholesome TV shows like Grown-ish (a spin-off of Black-ish), Chrissy & Dave Dine Out, and Young & Hungry. Some on-brand reruns also include shows like Boy Meets World, Switched at Birth, and The Secret Life ... How to Watch Freeform With a Free Trial
Nickelodeon has made a name for itself as a children’s channel, but late at night when the kids go to bed, it airs films and TV shows that even mom and dad can enjoy. The programming block, called Nick at Nite, begins at 8 in the evening (10 on Saturdays) and runs through 7 in ... How to Watch Nick at Nite With a Free Trial
When it comes to breaking news, few channels can match up to CNN. It has local, national, and international coverage down pat, not to mention it’s on 24/7 and hosted by some of the country’s most trusted journalists, including Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour. In the past, CNN only came with expensive cable packages, but ... How to Get a CNN Subscription Without Cable
Ina Garten, Bobby Flay, Guy Fieri, Tiffany Derry…really, who’s doing it like The Food Network? The channel has been platforming some of the most recognizable chefs and their respective shows since 1993, and even in the streaming age, it shows no signs of stopping. I mean, you can watch YouTube and TikTok chefs all you ... How to Get Food Network Live Without Cable
Cartoon Network’s giant library of animated television series has been a great, diverse companion to generations of kids growing up. Originals like Powerpuff Girls, Dexter’s Laboratory, and Johnny Bravo brought tons of color to basic character tropes; while new age classics like Steven Universe and We Bare Bears explored softer moods to go with the ... How to Watch Cartoon Network with a Free Trial
Whether you just want to tune in to the most anticipated sporting event of the year (Puppy Bowl, of course) or you want a constant stream of shows like Lone Star Law, The Vet Life, and Coyote Peterson to keep your animal-loving heart company, then you probably know how vital it is to have Animal ... How to Watch Animal Planet With a Free Trial
Unlike most channels out there, The CW doesn’t cater to a specific niche; it’s a network that has a little something for everybody. It carries superhero shows like Superman & Lois, dramas like All American, magic shows like Penn & Teller, and comedies like Whose Line Is It Anyway? Because it has local affiliates scattered ... How to Get The CW Live Without Cable
If you’re looking for a good mix of serious true crime shows, hard-hitting documentaries, police procedurals, and vintage classics, then Sundance TV will be a fun addition to your channel lineup, if it’s not there already. It’s random enough to cater to different tastes, but its shows are, for the most part, addictive watches. Currently, ... How to Watch SundanceTV With a Free Trial
If you’ve put on the Travel Channel in the last decade or so, you’ll know it’s not actually the Travel Channel anymore, not really. Sure, it still occasionally airs gems like No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain and Hotel Impossible, but most of its time slots are now dedicated to supernatural and true crime shows. That ... How to Watch Travel With a Free Trial
Everyone knows that A&E is the go-to channel for all the wars. You know, Customer Wars, Storage Wars, Road Wars, Neighbor Wars, Parking Wars…But the cable channel is also home to other programs that take a closer look at our mundane but fascinating lives. Sometimes, they take a more criminal bent with shows like The ... How to Get an A&E Subscription Without Cable
Aimed at the next generation of Disney kids, Disney Junior offers countless fun and educational children’s programming. Whether it’s modern favorites like Sofia the First, Doc McStuffins, or Bluey; or staple Mickey Mouse shows such as Mickey Mouse Clubhouse; the Disney Junior line-up is perfect for young children’s active imaginations, as well as teaching them ... How to Watch Disney Junior with a Free Trial
Whether it’s a game show, a survival contest, or a race, nothing beats the the thrill of a competition. And what better way to tune into that thrill than by heading over to the Game Show Network, which is all rivalry 24/7. Unlike the olden days, you don’t need a cable connection to do this. ... How to Watch Game Show Network With a Free Trial