Nicolas Cage stars in a Southern-fried psychological thriller that’s both too much, and not enough.
It feels like we’re just on the verge of a Cageissance. After several long years of accepting roles in movies that looked like they might be money laundering schemes for the Russian Mafia, Nicolas Cage started showing up in respectable projects again, whether it was interesting oddities like Mom and Dad or outright masterpieces like Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse and Panos Cosmatos’ gorgeous nightmare Mandy. Cage mentioning in an interview earlier this year that he wanted to work with Ari Aster caused a ripple of excitement in the film community — imagine what he could do if he had another opportunity to work with a writer-director who actually cared about making something that was more than barely competent?
Alas, Cage must still have tax bills and giant pyramid headstones to pay for, because he continues to star in nonsense like Stephen S. Campanelli’s Grand Isle. Cage’s fifth movie of the year (and if you can name the other four* without looking them up, stop what you’re doing and go get a cookie), it’s an erotic thriller that is neither erotic or thrilling. It doesn’t know what kind of movie it is. It’s a movie that features a scene where a woman tears the buttons off a man’s jeans with her high heeled shoe, and also one where another man talks about the guilt he still feels after all his platoon buddies were blown up in Da Nang. It’s a little Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, a little Silence of the Lambs, and a whole lot of people just talking and staring at each other in a meaningful, menacing manner.
Arbitrarily set in 1988, Grand Isle opens with Buddy (Luke Benward), a down on his luck Vietnam veteran, arrested for a murder he didn’t commit. His accuser is a detective played by, of all people, Kelsey Grammer, who speaks in a marvelous Foghorn Leghorn “boy, I say boy” accent, and pronounces the name of the movie as “Grond Owl.” This is the kind of movie in which, despite the fact that it takes place in one tiny little Southern town, everybody’s accents are completely different, ranging from barely perceptible to thick as grits. Buddy, our dud of a hero, speaks with no accent at all and has the presence of a high school football player forced to star in the school play as punishment.
Buddy explains to the detective that he took a job fixing a fence at the home of Walt (Cage), who’s also a veteran but seems to be struggling with it on a far more profound level than Buddy. We soon learn that, for reasons that are never really explained, Walt’s not interested in having sex with his extremely horny wife, Fancy (KaDee Strickland), who saunters into the movie wearing lingerie and stiletto heels, even though it’s in the afternoon. Like a character in a Tennessee Williams play (which this movie is desperately, unsuccessfully trying to be), Fancy berates Walt for his lack of manliness, then immediately sets her cap for Buddy.
“Birds leave before a storm comes. They can sense the danger,” Fancy drawls, eyeing Buddy up and down like she’s pricing a stud horse. When both a conveniently timed storm and a stalled-out truck keep him at the house, Buddy has dinner with the couple, during which Fancy aggressively flirts with him and sticks her foot in his crotch, while Walt, who looks like he’s been sleeping in the same clothes for over a month, glowers at them.
Lest you think this is all some sort of weird sex game Walt and Fancy are playing, you’re right, but it’s also a long, drawn-out ploy to trap Buddy in the house so that Walt can talk him into killing Fancy. That turns out to be a ruse as well, however, leading to a third act twist that is somehow both confusing, and deeply stupid. Not as stupid, however, as Buddy, who has several opportunities to simply leave, but doesn’t. He just stumbles around like he’s recently suffered a head injury, looking nonplussed at best while Walt’s behavior becomes increasingly threatening, and Fancy comes on to him so ferociously she all but lifts him up by his ankles and dips him into a vat of lube. Even after things turn violent, Buddy still sticks around, opting to take a peek in Walt and Fancy’s basement rather than flee for his life.
Grand Isle somehow manages to be both ambitious and lazy at the same time, with so many barely developed ideas and dropped plot threads that it feels like Campanelli accidentally shot an outline instead of a completed script.
Grand Isle is a long, dull cocktease of a movie, where even after several scenes of Fancy fondling Buddy and telling him her sexual fantasies, there’s no payoff of a sex scene. It’s mostly the three main characters talking, endlessly, during which Buddy blurts out dialogue like “He asked me to kill you” with all the dramatic weight of telling someone they need to pick up milk from the store. Though he perks up towards the end, Cage looks exhausted most of the time, and you can almost hear the weary sigh as he signed the contract agreeing to star in this. Benward alternates between looking bored and confused, which means Strickland is stuck doing most of the heavy lifting, and her performance is more suited for a Ryan Murphy production than a meant-to-be serious psychological thriller.
It’s the kind of movie where (unable to trust that the audience will remember that it takes place in the South) someone makes mint juleps, Walt and Fancy’s house has a voodoo doll collection, and everyone keeps mentioning how hot it is. Grand Isle has the lofty goal of wanting to say something about guilt, cowardice, and post-war trauma, but also has such glaring continuity errors as Buddy coming in from a torrential downpour in dry clothes, and the sound of a baby crying looped over a shot of a baby who is definitely not crying.
Grand Isle somehow manages to be both ambitious and lazy at the same time, with so many barely developed ideas and dropped plot threads that it feels like Campanelli accidentally shot an outline instead of a completed script. One hopes that Ari Aster does write a role worthy of Nicolas Cage’s genuine talents, because the joke’s over, and it’s getting tiresome and sad to see him wasted in junk like this.
*A Score to Settle, Running With the Devil, Kill Chain, and Primal. Colour Out of Space, which looks promising, doesn’t count because it’s not scheduled for wide release until January.
Grand Isle will be released in theaters and On Demand December 6th
Grand Isle Trailer:
Read next: The Spool's Best New Releases
Streaming guides
The Best Live TV Streaming Services With Free Trial
The praises of live TV streaming services don’t need to be further sung. By now, we all know that compared to clunky, commitment-heavy cable, live TV is cheaper and much easier to manage. But just in case you’re still on the fence about jumping over to the other side, or if you’re just unhappy with ... The Best Live TV Streaming Services With Free Trial
How to Watch Power Book III: Raising Kanan Season 3
Season 3 of the hotly anticipated Power spin-off, Power Book III: Raising Kanan, is arriving on Starz soon, so you know what that means: it’s the ’90s again in The Southside, and we’re back with the Thomas family as they navigate the ins and outs of the criminal underworld they’re helping build. Mekai Curtis is ... How to Watch Power Book III: Raising Kanan Season 3
How to Watch Doctor Who: 60th Anniversary Specials
Ladies and gentlemen, we’re so back! To celebrate Doctor Who’s 60th anniversary, the BBC is producing a three-episode special starring none other than the Tenth/Fourteenth Doctor himself, David Tennant. And to the supreme delight of fans (that would be me, dear reader), the Doctor will be joined by old-time companion Donna Noble (Catherine Tate) and ... How to Watch Doctor Who: 60th Anniversary Specials
Which Netflix Country has Interstellar?
Maybe you’ve just seen Oppenheimer and have the strongest urge to marathon—or more fun yet, rank!—all of Christopher Nolan’s films. Or maybe you’re one of the few who haven’t seen Interstellar yet. If you are, then you should change that immediately; the dystopian epic is one of Nolan’s best, and with that incredible twist in ... Which Netflix Country has Interstellar?
Which Netflix Country Has Each Movie of The Hunger Games?
For whatever reason, The Hunger Games series isn’t available in the same countries around the world. You’ll find the first and second (aka the best) installments in Hong Kong, for instance, but not the third and fourth. It’s a frustrating dilemma, especially if you don’t even have a single entry in your region, which is ... Which Netflix Country Has Each Movie of The Hunger Games?
How to Watch ESPN With A Free Trial
One of the major concerns people have before cutting the cord is potentially losing access to live sports. But the great thing about live TV streaming services is that you never lose that access. Minus the contracts and complications of cable, these streaming services connect you to a host of live channels, including ESPN. So ... How to Watch ESPN With A Free Trial
How to Watch Paramount Network With a Free Trial
To date, Paramount Network has only two original shows on air right now: Yellowstone and Bar Rescue. The network seems to have its hands full with on-demand streaming service Paramount+, which is constantly stacked with a fresh supply of new shows. But Yellowstone and Bar Rescue are so sturdy and expansive that the network doesn’t ... How to Watch Paramount Network With a Free Trial
How to Watch WE TV With a Free Trial
Previously “Women’s Entertainment,” We TV has since rebranded to accurately reflect its name and be a more inclusive lifestyle channel. It’s home to addictive reality gems like Bold and Bougie, Bridezillas, Marriage Boot Camp, and The Untold Stories of Hip Hop. And when it’s not airing original titles, it has on syndicated shows like 9-1-1, ... How to Watch WE TV With a Free Trial
How to Watch TNT Sports With A Free Trial
For many sports fans, TNT is a non-negotiable. It broadcasts NBA, MLB, NHL, college basketball, and All Elite Wrestling matches. And, as a bonus, it also has reruns of shows like Supernatural, Charmed, and NCIS, as well as films like The Avengers, Dune, and Justice League. But while TNT used to be a cable staple, ... How to Watch TNT Sports With A Free Trial
How to Watch Comedy Central With a Free Trial
It’s no coincidence that many of today’s biggest comedians found their footing on Comedy Central: the channel is a bastion of emerging comic talents. It served as a playground for people like Nathan Fielder (Fielder For You), Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson (Broad City), Tim Robinson (Detroiters), and Dave Chappelle (Chappelle’s Show) before they shot ... How to Watch Comedy Central With a Free Trial
How to Watch FX With a Free Trial
You’d be hard-pressed to find a bad show airing on FX. The channel has made a name for itself as a bastion of high-brow TV, along with HBO and AMC. It’s produced shows like Atlanta, Fargo, The Americans, Archer, and more recently, Shogun. But because it’s owned by Disney, it still airs several blockbusters in ... How to Watch FX With a Free Trial