Wish
SimilarAladdin (1992), Batman Returns (1992), Catwoman (2004), Constantine (2005), Dances with Wolves (1990), Dr. No (1962), Enchanted (2007), Fantasia (1940), From Russia with Love (1963), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), Hellboy (2004),
Live and Let Die (1973) Mary Poppins (1964), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006), Princess Mononoke (1997), Shrek (2001), The Big Blue (1988), The Man with the Golden Gun (1974), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971), You Only Live Twice (1967),
Watch afterAquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023), Five Nights at Freddy's (2023), Leave the World Behind (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023), Napoleon (2023), Parasite (2019), Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023), Society of the Snow (2023), The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023), The Marvels (2023), Wonka (2023),
StudioWalt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Productions,
Kids deserve better than yet another dull, going-through-the-motions misfire.
The animation world was recently startled by Warner Bros.' announcement that they planned to shelve their recently completed feature Coyote vs Acme for a quick tax write-off, rather than spend money to release it. Not to be outdone, Disney Studios offers up Wish, an animated feature that is the kind of artistic misfire that deserves to be hidden away and never spoken about again. This is a creation so alternately bewildering and banal that it's implausible that at no point during the entire creative process did anyone point out the seemingly obvious fact that virtually none of it works on even the most basic levels.
Wish takes place in the kingdom of Rosas, which was founded and is currently ruled by Magnifico (Chris Pine), a seemingly benevolent sorcerer who offers peace and protection for all those who live there. The catch is that they must surrender their deepest wish to Magnifico, who stores them in the lab in his castle in bubbles and once in a great while returns one to the person who made it. Inexplicably, the people of Rosas think this is a good deal, none more so than Asha (Ariana DeBose), a teenager who is all in on both Rosas and Magnifico and is hoping that the latter will present her beloved grandfather (Victor Argo) with his wish to commemorate his upcoming 100th birthday. Continue Reading →
The Little Mermaid
SimilarAladdin (1992), Dirty Dancing (1987), Fantasia (1940), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Moulin Rouge! (2001), West Side Story (2021), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Flash (2023),
StudioWalt Disney Pictures,
The spate of recent live-action Disney remakes has run the gamut in quality from pleasantly diverting (Cinderella, Pete’s Dragon) to unwatchable abominations (The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast.) Even the most well-received entries of the bunch struggle to find reasons they should exist in the first place. Rob Marshall’s The Little Mermaid is no different, but for one crucial factor that sets it apart from the rest: Halle Bailey as Ariel. Bailey is so captivating and winsome in the titular role that this remake almost feels worth it just to launch her into movie stardom. Unfortunately, sub-par CGI effects and clunky changes to Howard Ashman’s classic songs often make it feel like Bailey is left to carry the movie on the strength of her remarkable talent alone. With a shaggy runtime of two hours and fifteen minutes—a full hour longer than the original cartoon—it’s a heavy load for one performer to bear. Continue Reading →
Pinocchio
SimilarFantasia (1940), Shrek (2001), Shrek 2 (2004), Shrek the Third (2007), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
MPAA RatingG,
StudioWalt Disney Productions,
Disney released a “live-action” remake of Pinocchio earlier in the fall, which was greeted with the same indifferent to negative critical response their “live-action” remakes always receive. I put “live-action” in quotes because referring to them as such is a bit generous. They’re predominantly CGI, with barely enough human actors appearing to qualify as a regular feature rather than animation. As with the remakes of The Lion King and Aladdin, beyond the fact that there was simply no reason for it to exist, Pinocchio smacked of cynicism, and sent a clear message to audiences: we can keep making the same thing over and over, and you rubes will pay to see it. Continue Reading →
Disenchanted
SimilarBack to the Future Part II (1989), Back to the Future Part III (1990), Edward Scissorhands (1990), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
Watch afterBlack Adam (2022), Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022),
StudioWalt Disney Pictures,
“Not great, not terrible.” Continue Reading →
Fantasia
SimilarIce Age (2002), Mary Poppins (1964), Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
MPAA RatingG,
StudioWalt Disney Productions,
Our final dispatch from Fantasia features a blend of powerful stories with dynamic female characters.
(This dispatch is part of our coverage of the 2022 Fantasia Film Festival.)
There is perhaps no more literal or better example of Fantasia's killer run of female-centered stories this year than Amanda Kramer’s kaleidoscopic Give Me Pity! Following Sissy St. Claire (Sophie Von Haselberg) for her singular Saturday night special, this remarkable feat of staging and performance is a golden, glittery, and gothic descent into the twisted psyche of a performer desperate for acceptance. At once a TV concert, sketch show, and dramatic showcase, Give Me Pity shows off the exhaustive range of its visionary director and solo star. Continue Reading →
Beauty and the Beast
Once Upon a Time… Continue Reading →
Cinderella II: Dreams Come True
SimilarHarry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (2001), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), West Side Story (2021), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
MPAA RatingG,
What if during one of your worst nightmares, you couldn't wake up, no matter how hard you tried? This the brooding question hanging throughout Come True, Anthony Scott Burns' sophomore horror thriller, coming off of Our House in 2018. The director (and now screenwriter) brings his visual effects background to develop an atmospheric wasteland of pure, spine-chilling dread with just a touch of analog sci-fi. The result is an ironically snoozy slog about the horrors of sleep paralysis that gets by more on vivid aesthetic than the sheer terror of what keeps us up at night. Continue Reading →
Night at the Museum
SimilarBorat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006), King Kong (1933), King Kong (2005), Ocean's Eleven (1960), Snakes on a Plane (2006), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
StarringOwen Wilson,
Studio20th Century Fox, Ingenious Media,
The thing about guilt is that it can wear you down until you’re more a cluster of exposed nerve endings than a human being. That, at least, is the premise behind The Night, a new psychological horror and debut film from director Kourosh Ahari. Set in Los Angeles and spoken almost entirely in Farsi, The Night is a wonderfully odd mix of being spare and a bit too much all at once. Continue Reading →