Meg 2: The Trench
Ever since James Cameron boldly wrote “S” after ALIEN on a chalkboard and then changed it to a dollar sign, the quickest way to sequel-ize your killer extraterrestrial/reptile/mammal/whatever has been to add more of it. You scored a hit with people fighting one giant mosquito? Great, here’s a sequel with six of them. Continue Reading →
Strays
SimilarArmageddon (1998), Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999), Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006), Bridget Jones's Diary (2001), Bring It On (2000), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), From Russia with Love (1963), Ghostbusters (1984), Goldfinger (1964), Night at the Museum (2006), Ocean's Eleven (1960), Shrek the Third (2007), Snakes on a Plane (2006), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), The Simpsons Movie (2007),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Blue Beetle (2023), Elemental (2023), Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) Talk to Me (2023), The Nun II (2023),
Talking animals have been an entertainment staple for practically as long as movies have been around. Most classics of the genre, like 1993’s Homeward Bound, aim squarely at children in the audience. Director Josh Greenbaum’s Strays seeks to subvert that approach by weaving dirty jokes and curse words into familiar genre tropes. The result is considerably more grating and unpleasant to watch. Continue Reading →
The Last Voyage of the Demeter
SimilarBlade Runner (1982) Carrie (1976), Die Hard (1988), Dr. No (1962), Eyes Wide Shut (1999), From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016),
Jackie Brown (1997) King Kong (1933),
Live and Let Die (1973) Mystic River (2003), Poseidon (2006),
Rebecca (1940) Shaft (2000) Shooter (2007), The 39 Steps (1935),
The Name of the Rose (1986) The Poseidon Adventure (1972), The Silent Partner (1978), War of the Worlds (2005), Wild at Heart (1990), You Only Live Twice (1967),
Watch afterAmerican Fiction (2023),
Barbie (2023) Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Talk to Me (2023), The Nun II (2023),
The Last Voyage of the Demeter feels like a movie from a different era. To a point, it is—writer Bragi Schut first drafted his adaptation of the 'Log of the "Demeter"' sequence in Bram Stoker's Dracula in the early 2000s. It's a capital letters Hollywood Creature Feature—a grimmer straight horror cousin to 2004's action/horror hybrid Van Helsing. At its best, it's an admirably gnarly monster flick—bolstered by sturdy craft from director André Øvredal and consistently good performances from a game ensemble. At its worst, it loses confidence and resorts to bumbling attempts to guide its audience by the hand—most notably in its prologue and epilogue. Continue Reading →
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Despite their hue, not all TMNT films deserved to be greenlit.
Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird created The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in 1984. Now almost 40 years later, what started as a comic book has inspired seven movies, five television series, and countless amounts of merchandise. This week the four ninja tortoises return in a new animated incarnation, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. Considering I’ve been a fan of the Turtles since six years old, this seems like the perfect time to put an official rating on four decades of movies. Some are gnarly, some tubular, and there’s always a whole lot of cowabunga.
Writers Note: This list doesn’t include the recent Netflix installment Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie, a TV-movie crossover Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or the live recording of the 1990 Coming Out of Their Shells stage show. That one you can catch on YouTube, although I don’t know why you would. Continue Reading →
Barbie
SimilarBridget Jones's Diary (2001), Catwoman (2004), Enchanted (2007), Ghost (1990), Ghostbusters (1984), The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005), The Holiday (2006), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003), Volver (2006),
Watch afterBlue Beetle (2023), Elemental (2023), Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Flash (2023),
The news that director Greta Gerwig’s follow-up project to her celebrated adaptation of Little Women would be a movie about Barbie dolls was met with skepticism and even disappointment when first announced in mid-2019. What did it mean for the future of one of Hollywood’s few high-profile female directors? Would she abandon her apparent passion for telling intimate stories about coming of age? Continue Reading →
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One
SimilarArmageddon (1998), Beverly Hills Cop (1984), Beverly Hills Cop II (1987), Beverly Hills Cop III (1994), Die Hard 2 (1990), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Godzilla Raids Again (1955),
Jackie Brown (1997) Jaws: The Revenge (1987),
Live and Let Die (1973) Live Free or Die Hard (2007), Ocean's Twelve (2004), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2007), Superman Returns (2006), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Five Nights at Freddy's (2023), Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) The Equalizer 3 (2023), The Flash (2023), The Nun II (2023),
One of Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One's earliest pieces of marketing was a trailer-by-way-of-behind-the-scenes featurette. In that clip, Tom Cruise, strapped to a motorcycle, rockets off the edge of a cliff in the Swiss Alps. He lets the bike drop away before popping his parachute and sailing into the horizon. It's one of the most death-defying sequences ever captured on film and, as we now know, it's one Cruise himself did again and again and again. The sequence, even devoid of context, sums up exactly what director Chris McQuarrie and Cruise (the two are also co-producers) hoped to achieve in Dead Reckoning: grade A movie spectacle. Continue Reading →
Stan Lee
Watch afterElemental (2023), Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Flash (2023),
Thanks to decades of cameos in movies and promotional stunts intertwining him with the very word “Marvel,” audiences across the planet have a deep connection to comic book legend Stan Lee. Though he passed away in the final weeks of 2018, Lee’s legacy lives on. Marvel Studios even utilized existing audio of his voice in a special 2021 video. It helped them announce the return of its features to movie theaters. Artistic individuals like this tend to endure, no matter what happens to their physical bodies. Continue Reading →
Asteroid City
SimilarStalker (1979),
Watch afterIndiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) The Flash (2023),
StarringFisher Stevens, Willem Dafoe,
About twenty miles or so outside of Marfa, Texas, there’s a mural dedicated to the production of George Stevens’ Giant. Big wooden standees display James Dean with his arms draped over a rifle, framing him in the iconic Christ pose which would be the last image to represent Dean in the public consciousness before he died. Giant is about a great number of things, though, fittingly, what resonates all these years later is its ideas about the passing of time. Continue Reading →
State and Main
In David Mamet’s State and Main, Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a breath of fresh air. He’s surrounded by scumbags, of course: this is a Mamet movie, though not a particularly good one. A playwright-turned-screenwriter, Joe White (Hoffman) might not survive his first film production. His period piece – well, the period piece that began as his script “The Old Mill” – needs a new location. Back in the town in which they were meant to shoot, the lead actor slept with an underage girl. Continue Reading →