Madame Web
Similar2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Aliens (1986), Batman Begins (2005), Batman Forever (1995), Batman Returns (1992), Catwoman (2004), Constantine (2005), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Enchanted (2007), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), Ghostbusters (1984), Hellboy (2004), King Kong (1933), King Kong (2005), Léon: The Professional (1994),
Live and Let Die (1973) Mars Attacks! (1996), Men in Black (1997), Men in Black II (2002), My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), North by Northwest (1959),
Shaft (2000) Sin City (2005), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2007), Superman Returns (2006), The Crow: Salvation (2000), The Dark Knight (2008), The Fifth Element (1997), The Legend of Zorro (2005),
Watch afterDune: Part Two (2024),
StudioColumbia Pictures,
The latest chapter in Sony's Spider-Man Universe makes Morbius look like a masterpiece.
In an age where the Marvel Cinematic Universe has categorically lost its luster, it's tempting to imagine how green the grass is on the other side of the hill. To imagine that someone, somewhere, is doing inventive work with some of America's most pervasive modern myths -- without the heaving strain of an interconnected narrative, a cast of over-it actors, or visual effects teams stretched beyond their breaking point. You won't find it, however, in the strangely-dubbed "Sony's Spider-Man Universe" -- that casually connected series of antihero films (the Venoms, Morbius) that attempts to cobble together its own Sinister Six from the contractual scraps Disney left Sony after its acquisition of Marvel Studios. And Madame Web, the latest grasp at superhero relevancy in a dying comic book movie landscape, is easily its messiest, most forgettable shrug in that direction.
It's astonishing to think that Sony could put out a worse product than 2022's Morbius -- a misfire of a mad-scientist picture that at least contained a few interesting images and the perverse sight of Matt Smith gnashing his pointy vampire teeth through a chopped-up villain performance -- but boy, Madame Web manages it. It's a passive whisper of a film, one that barely registers its own existence. The only reason someone would even deign to make it is because they're contractually obligated to maintain a specific character's intellectual property, not to mention a heaping stake of product placement from Pepsi. Continue Reading →
Shazam! Fury of the Gods
SimilarBring It On (2000), Hellboy (2004), Night at the Museum (2006), Superman Returns (2006), The Legend of Zorro (2005),
Watch afterAnt-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), Avatar: The Way of Water (2022), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023),
StudioDC Films, New Line Cinema,
If only there were a word I could scream that would turn me into a superhero. I wouldn’t fight crime or fly in the heavens above. Instead, I would run really fast until time went backward. Then I would sprint into the DC Film offices circa 2020 and yell, “Please do not make Shazam! Fury of the Gods. Nobody needs this!” Alas, I have no such power. So, here we are. Continue Reading →
The Suicide Squad
SimilarFree Willy (1993), Godzilla Raids Again (1955), Hellboy (2004),
Live and Let Die (1973) Superman Returns (2006), The Legend of Zorro (2005),
Watch afterBlack Widow (2021), Eternals (2021), Free Guy (2021), Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021),
StarringDee Bradley Baker,
In the last decade, there have been numerous shitty attempts to replicate the success of the Marvel Studios formula, but Suicide Squad (2016) may be the worst of the worst. Writer/director David Ayer’s dark and gritty tone clashed with the pop music-heavy trailers, marketing that included songs already used by – and meant to remind viewers of – Guardians of the Galaxy. In the end, the studio hired that same trailer company to re-cut the movie, which was released into theaters as an incomprehensible mess. Noticeably missing a “2” in its title, The Suicide Squad is essentially a 200 million dollar do-over. It’s the movie Warner Brothers should’ve made five years ago. Continue Reading →