Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Despite their hue, not all TMNT films deserved to be greenlit.
Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird created The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in 1984. Now almost 40 years later, what started as a comic book has inspired seven movies, five television series, and countless amounts of merchandise. This week the four ninja tortoises return in a new animated incarnation, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem. Considering I’ve been a fan of the Turtles since six years old, this seems like the perfect time to put an official rating on four decades of movies. Some are gnarly, some tubular, and there’s always a whole lot of cowabunga.
Writers Note: This list doesn’t include the recent Netflix installment Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie, a TV-movie crossover Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or the live recording of the 1990 Coming Out of Their Shells stage show. That one you can catch on YouTube, although I don’t know why you would. Continue Reading →
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One
SimilarArmageddon (1998), Beverly Hills Cop (1984), Beverly Hills Cop II (1987), Beverly Hills Cop III (1994),
Die Hard 2 (1990) Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995) Gladiator (2000), Godzilla Raids Again (1955),
Jackie Brown (1997) Jaws: The Revenge (1987),
Live and Let Die (1973) Live Free or Die Hard (2007) Ocean's Twelve (2004), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2007), Superman Returns (2006), The Dead Pool (1988), The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003), The Professional (1981),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Five Nights at Freddy's (2023), Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) The Equalizer 3 (2023), The Flash (2023), The Nun II (2023),
One of Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One's earliest pieces of marketing was a trailer-by-way-of-behind-the-scenes featurette. In that clip, Tom Cruise, strapped to a motorcycle, rockets off the edge of a cliff in the Swiss Alps. He lets the bike drop away before popping his parachute and sailing into the horizon. It's one of the most death-defying sequences ever captured on film and, as we now know, it's one Cruise himself did again and again and again. The sequence, even devoid of context, sums up exactly what director Chris McQuarrie and Cruise (the two are also co-producers) hoped to achieve in Dead Reckoning: grade A movie spectacle. Continue Reading →
Top Gun: Maverick
Watch afterJurassic World Dominion (2022), Prey (2022), Thor: Love and Thunder (2022),
StarringJon Hamm,
Navy Captain Peter "Pete" Mitchell, callsign "Maverick" (Tom Cruise) is a living legend. He is the only man to have shot down multiple enemy planes in the modern era of combat aviation. From the F-14 Tomcat to bleeding-edge skunkworks stealth plane prototypes, there is nothing he cannot fly, nothing he cannot (or more accurately will not) push past the fabled Danger Zone. Continue Reading →
Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Watch afterDoctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022), Jurassic World Dominion (2022), Morbius (2022),
In practice, most video game movies don’t have to worry about sequels. The likes of Assassin’s Creed and Warcraft failed to make anywhere near enough money to justify follow-ups. But there are still theatrical video game movie sequels here and there, now including Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Continue Reading →