Unfrosted
I will give Unfrosted, director/co-writer/star/breakfast aficionado Jerry Seinfeld's heavily fictionalized, would-be-gonzo take on the invention of the Pop-Tart, this: I did laugh, albeit mirthlessly. For one sequence, Seinfeld and his creative collaborators push past stale, semi-affectionate satire and into the rarefied realm of "Yes, we're going for it." It's a funeral. The deceased is laid to rest with the highest honors a breakfast food developer may be accorded. Why is he dead? An office culture that prioritized the appearance of safety (testing the revolutionary self-stable fruit pastry in a full space suit, complete with isolated oxygen supply) over actual safety (keeping said oxygen supply next to an overclocked toaster). After all, beating Post to market is far more important than protecting your staff from violent immolation.
The Corn Flakes rooster, Toucan Sam (Cedric Yarbrough), Tony the Tiger (Thurl Ravenscroft, as played by Hugh Grant), and Snap, Crackle, and Pop (Kyle Mooney, Mikey Day, and Drew Tarver), among others, perform the rites. As the deceased's widow (Sarah Burns) looks on in increasingly horrified bafflement, these priests of the breakfast table lower the coffin into the ground and then dump cereal and milk into the grave, topped with fresh fruit laid by professional mourners. A cereal box prize is presented like the flags given to the family of slain soldiers.
It's an audacious, out-there scene, a moment of distinct, morbid silliness that reminds me of when Barry B. Benson had Winnie the Pooh sniped. In a world where rival cereal companies seek the aid of Kennedy (Bill Burr) and Kruschev (Dean Norris) and the head of Big Milk (Peter Dinklage) can have someone tortured for daring to suggest that breakfast might not always need cow juice, Full Cearal Honors feels like Seinfeld and company cranking up the dial to eleven and jamming while dancing around Stonehenge. What is there to do but laugh? Continue Reading →
Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver
Similar2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Alien (1979), Aliens (1986), Apollo 13 (1995), Armageddon (1998), Catwoman (2004), Code of Silence (1985), Con Air (1997), Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000), Die Hard (1988), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Dune (1984), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), La Vie en Rose (2007), Live Free or Die Hard (2007), Sliver (1993), Star Trek: First Contact (1996), Star Trek: Generations (1994), The Fifth Element (1997), The Matrix Reloaded (2003), The Matrix Revolutions (2003), You Only Live Twice (1967),
Watch afterDune: Part Two (2024), Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023),
My favorite moments in Rebel Moon: Part Two - The Scargiver come during quick breaths before a plunge.
In the first, warriors Tarak (Staz Nair) and Milius (Elise Duffy) come to terms with their likely imminent deaths at the hands of a smoke-spewing tank. Having spent years of his life consumed by survivor's guilt, Tarak thought having a cause to die for would be enough. It isn't. He wants to live, but he probably won't. The next best thing is to die fighting alongside a peer like Milius.
In the second, Kora (Sofia Boutella) is in the midst of blasting her way through the fearsome dreadnought King's Gaze. After slaying a warrior wielding a high-tech superheated sword, she takes a moment to catch her breath. With some pilfered cloth, she wraps the blade's hilt so she can use it without burning herself. It's a moment of improvisation, providing Boutella a chance to deliver a quieter piece of physical acting that stands in contrast to brawling with a corridor of goons or swordfighting Ed Skrein's Admiral Noble. Continue Reading →
Madame Web
Similar2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), Aliens (1986), Batman Begins (2005), Batman Forever (1995), Batman Returns (1992), Catwoman (2004), Constantine (2005), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Enchanted (2007), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007), Ghostbusters (1984), Hellboy (2004), King Kong (1933), King Kong (2005), Léon: The Professional (1994),
Live and Let Die (1973) Mars Attacks! (1996), Men in Black (1997), Men in Black II (2002), My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), North by Northwest (1959),
Shaft (2000) Sin City (2005), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2007), Superman Returns (2006), The Crow: Salvation (2000), The Dark Knight (2008), The Fifth Element (1997), The Legend of Zorro (2005),
Watch afterDune: Part Two (2024),
StudioColumbia Pictures,
The latest chapter in Sony's Spider-Man Universe makes Morbius look like a masterpiece.
In an age where the Marvel Cinematic Universe has categorically lost its luster, it's tempting to imagine how green the grass is on the other side of the hill. To imagine that someone, somewhere, is doing inventive work with some of America's most pervasive modern myths -- without the heaving strain of an interconnected narrative, a cast of over-it actors, or visual effects teams stretched beyond their breaking point. You won't find it, however, in the strangely-dubbed "Sony's Spider-Man Universe" -- that casually connected series of antihero films (the Venoms, Morbius) that attempts to cobble together its own Sinister Six from the contractual scraps Disney left Sony after its acquisition of Marvel Studios. And Madame Web, the latest grasp at superhero relevancy in a dying comic book movie landscape, is easily its messiest, most forgettable shrug in that direction.
It's astonishing to think that Sony could put out a worse product than 2022's Morbius -- a misfire of a mad-scientist picture that at least contained a few interesting images and the perverse sight of Matt Smith gnashing his pointy vampire teeth through a chopped-up villain performance -- but boy, Madame Web manages it. It's a passive whisper of a film, one that barely registers its own existence. The only reason someone would even deign to make it is because they're contractually obligated to maintain a specific character's intellectual property, not to mention a heaping stake of product placement from Pepsi. Continue Reading →
Maestro
Similar9 Songs (2004), A Beautiful Mind (2001), A History of Violence (2005), Aladdin (1992), Alex Strangelove (2018), Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974), Almost Famous (2000), Annie Hall (1977), Apollo 13 (1995), Belle de Jour (1967), Ben-Hur (1959),
Bend It Like Beckham (2002) Billy Elliot (2000),
Boys Don't Cry (1999) Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), Crash (1996), Cruel Intentions (1999), Desert Hearts (1985), Donnie Brasco (1997), Driving Miss Daisy (1989), East of Eden (1955), Enough (2002), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004), Gandhi (1982), Gridiron Gang (2006), Heavenly Creatures (1994),
Manhattan (1979) Match Point (2005), Moulin Rouge! (2001), Random Harvest (1942),
Rebecca (1940) Rosemary's Baby (1968), Schindler's List (1993), Sissi (1955), Sissi: The Young Empress (1956), Sommersby (1993), The Bridges of Madison County (1995), The Elephant Man (1980), The Pianist (2002), The Science of Sleep (2006), The Straight Story (1999), The Tin Drum (1979), Titanic (1997), True Romance (1993),
Watch afterAmerican Fiction (2023), Killers of the Flower Moon (2023), Leave the World Behind (2023), Napoleon (2023), Poor Things (2023), Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023), Saltburn (2023), Society of the Snow (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Killer (2023),
Bradley Cooper pays respectful homage to Leonard Bernstein in this lavish passion project.
The problem inherent to most biopics is one of balance. Err too far on the side of worshipful and you get nonsense like Oliver Stone’s The Doors. Or you could swing in the other direction and you end up with an “oops, all warts” camp disaster like Mommie Dearest. Most linger somewhere in the middle, at a respectful distance, so that they’re ultimately kind of boring, and offer nothing new or particularly insightful about its subject matter.
Bradley Cooper’s Maestro, about the life of legendary composer Leonard Bernstein, isn’t boring. It’s too visually dazzling for that. It does not, however, leave one feeling like they’ve really gotten to know more about Bernstein other than he was a complicated, workaholic genius who struggled with his sexuality, which is all information that could be gleaned from his Wikipedia page. But it sure is lovely spending time in his world for a little while. Continue Reading →