Meg 2: The Trench
Ever since James Cameron boldly wrote “S” after ALIEN on a chalkboard and then changed it to a dollar sign, the quickest way to sequel-ize your killer extraterrestrial/reptile/mammal/whatever has been to add more of it. You scored a hit with people fighting one giant mosquito? Great, here’s a sequel with six of them. Continue Reading →
Talk to Me
SimilarA Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Alien (1979), Aliens (1986), Carrie (1976), On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999), The Shining (1980),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Blue Beetle (2023), Five Nights at Freddy's (2023), Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023),
Oppenheimer (2023) Saw X (2023), The Equalizer 3 (2023), The Nun II (2023),
Things have been very bad for much of the world for a very long time, and they won’t improve any time soon. I don’t mean to start things off on a bummer note, but to point out that from such dire circumstances comes one benefit: the horror movie renaissance that started in the late 2010s only seems to be getting better. Just this year we’ve gotten the low-fi nightmares Skinamarink and The Outwaters, horror comedy with M3GAN and Cocaine Bear, another mostly solid entry in the Scream franchise, too many indie horror films to list here (Bad Girl Boogey and Brooklyn 45 are but a couple), and the roaring return of the Evil Dead series. Even if there weren’t another release for the rest of the year, it’d still be a great year for horror. Continue Reading →
Maggie Moore(s)
StarringJon Hamm, Nick Mohammed,
Near the homestretch of John Slattery’s small-town dipshit crime saga, Maggie Moore(s), a police chief (Jon Hamm), chides his colorfully quippy co-worker (Nick Mohammed) with the overly direct criticism that he has “no concept of when it’s ok to tell a joke.” It’s an understandable retort given the morbidity of their current case—two women with the same name gruesomely killed a few days apart, one dispatched in a way that could be legally described as murder by arson. Continue Reading →
The Little Mermaid
SimilarAladdin (1992), Dirty Dancing (1987), Fantasia (1940), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005), Moulin Rouge! (2001), West Side Story (2021), Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971),
Watch afterBarbie (2023) Meg 2: The Trench (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Flash (2023),
StudioWalt Disney Pictures,
The spate of recent live-action Disney remakes has run the gamut in quality from pleasantly diverting (Cinderella, Pete’s Dragon) to unwatchable abominations (The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast.) Even the most well-received entries of the bunch struggle to find reasons they should exist in the first place. Rob Marshall’s The Little Mermaid is no different, but for one crucial factor that sets it apart from the rest: Halle Bailey as Ariel. Bailey is so captivating and winsome in the titular role that this remake almost feels worth it just to launch her into movie stardom. Unfortunately, sub-par CGI effects and clunky changes to Howard Ashman’s classic songs often make it feel like Bailey is left to carry the movie on the strength of her remarkable talent alone. With a shaggy runtime of two hours and fifteen minutes—a full hour longer than the original cartoon—it’s a heavy load for one performer to bear. Continue Reading →
Hypnotic
Watch afterJohn Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023), The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023),
StudioIngenious Media,
There's at once too much, and somehow not enough, of the whimsical DIY spirit of writer-director Robert Rodriguez in his latest film, the shaky B-thriller Hypnotic. The Austin native made his name in the halcyon days of '90s indie filmmaking, shooting his first feature (El Mariachi) for a mere $7,000 at the tender age of 23. Since then, he's leveraged that inventiveness into a cottage industry of his own based out of his hometown of Austin, Texas, whether it's kid-friendly fare (Spy Kids), big-budget CGI blockbusters (Alita: Battle Angel), moody noirs (Sin City) or grindhouse splatterfests (Planet Terror, From Dusk Till Dawn). Hypnotic is all and none of those things, a chintzy lo-fi Christopher Nolan riff that doesn't have nearly enough life to work. And yet, there are just enough charming elements to save it from outright dismissal. Continue Reading →
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
SimilarAladdin (1992), Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999), Die Hard 2 (1990), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Free Willy (1993), Godzilla Raids Again (1955), Hellboy (2004), Live Free or Die Hard (2007), Night at the Museum (2006), Shrek 2 (2004), Shrek the Third (2007), Superman Returns (2006), The Legend of Zorro (2005),
Watch afterAnt-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023),
Barbie (2023) Oppenheimer (2023) Thanksgiving (2023), The Flash (2023), The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023),
StarringDee Bradley Baker,
A lot's happened since we last saw the Guardians of the Galaxy (well, besides their brief cameo in Thor: Love and Thunder). Writer/director James Gunn was fired from Marvel in 2018 after some problematic tweets joking about pedophilia were unearthed, in one of the few instances of a successful cancellation from the right wing. Of course, it didn't last long, considering how thin the ground was for said cancellation in the first place; and in the interim, he swanned off to DC, made the fantastic The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker, and eventually found himself sharing the throne of a newly-revamped DC movie universe. Continue Reading →
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
SimilarAladdin (1992), Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999), From Russia with Love (1963), Goldfinger (1964), Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002), Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), King Kong (1933),
Live and Let Die (1973) On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969), Shrek (2001), Shrek 2 (2004), Shrek the Third (2007), The Man with the Golden Gun (1974),
Watch afterAnt-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023), Evil Dead Rise (2023), John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023),
It’s been almost 40 years since that little plumber in the red hat jumped into a warp pipe and into our hearts. Super Mario Bros., released for the original Nintendo system in the US in 1985, is still the perfect video game. It’s simple (you just got to jump around), it has iconic music, and its colorful world is hypnotic even with all those cute creatures trying to kill you. Continue Reading →
John Wick: Chapter 4
SimilarDie Hard 2 (1990), Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Godzilla Raids Again (1955), Hitman (2007), Live Free or Die Hard (2007), Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004),
Watch afterThe Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023),
The John Wick films are, simply put, the standard-bearer for American action in the 21st century. When the first came out in 2014, it shook the foundations of what we felt was possible in a Hollywood action landscape predominantly concerned with CGI energy blasts: It put stuntwork front and center, crafted labyrinthine mythology as dense and unnecessary as it was innately compelling in its flavor, and -- most importantly -- brought Keanu Reeves back to the public consciousness in a big way. Basically, it's some of the few times American action movies can even hope to compete with what comes out of Eastern Europe and Asia. And now, that saga comes to a close with John Wick: Chapter 4, a film that took two years after completion to come out, and feels like a final exhale of relief after hours of unrelenting, inventive action. Continue Reading →
Spin Me Round
SimilarBack to the Future Part III (1990), Little Miss Sunshine (2006), The Big Blue (1988),
Amber’s (Alison Brie) dead-eyed stare in the opening montage of Spin Me Round tells you everything you need to know about where she’s at in life. She’s the manager of a fast-casual “Italian” restaurant, and from what we see about how they make the alfredo sauce, the quotes are very much warranted. Her life is small and dull and she’s secretly ready and hoping for an adventure to sweep her off her feet. When Amber wins a trip to Tuscany, the film doesn’t take her or the audience on the journey you’d expect, which creates something of a mess for everyone. Continue Reading →