At this point, it’s seemingly statistically impossible to have an Oscar telecast without some kind of controversy. In recent years we’ve seen the wrong Best Picture announced and a winner trip going up the stairs en route to the podium. Who could forget that time that John Travolta got blitzed and couldn’t pronounce Idina Menzel’s name? Then throw in the expected “unexpected” upsets, criticism about the stodgy “old white dude” status of the voting body, and inevitable criticisms about who was left off the initial nomination ballot. Let’s face it: the Oscars can be one long slog.
And that’s before you factor in the sheer ridiculousness of the 2019’s Oscars, which are on track to be the most criticized telecast in recent years.
Here’s a quick summary of the bizarre developments and controversies leading up to the big show on Sunday, February 24:
- Comedian Kevin Hart was initially hired to host, but he quit after a public outcry over homophobic comments he made in the past that he refused to apologize for.
- The Academy ultimately decided to go host free for the first time since 1989.
- As anticipated, the Best Director field was completely absent of female-identifying nominees, despite several other voting guilds recognizing more than worthy efforts by Drebra Granik (for Leave No Trace) and Chloé Zhao (for The Rider).
- Two of the Best Picture nominees – Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody – have been plagued by criticisms about inaccurate portrayals of their real life subjects.
- Rhapsody also removed director Bryan Singer’s credit over allegations of sexual assault of underage boys dating back decades.
- In an attempt to chop 45 minutes from the Oscarcast, the Academy elected to relegate four awards (Cinematography, Film Editing, Live Action Short and Makeup and Hairstyling) to the commercial breaks.
- After a public outcry (and, more importantly, threats of celebrity boycott), this decision was reversed and the Academy has confirmed that all awards will be presented during the telecast.
With all of this insanity, it only makes sense to drink your way through the 3.5+ hour telecast.
This is where The Spool can help. Load up on your favourite alcoholic beverage(s), prop a cushion under your tush and keep this handy drinking guide on hand to help you through the next few hours (which will undoubtedly feel like an eternity). And so, without further to do, here is The Spool‘s 2019 Oscar Drinking Game!
Cheers In Support
- References to any of the following: #MeToo, Time’s Up, Black Lives Matter, #OscarsSoWhite or Gun Control.
- RBG wins Best Documentary.
Take A Sip
- Awkward or uncomfortable podium banter.
- Kevin Hart reference.
- Trump reference.
- Bryan Singer reference.
- Man wearing a tuxedo that’s not black.
- Mention of “the magic of movies.”
- Quip about The Favourite’s lesbianism.
- “All Male Director” comment or variant.
- Comment about Black Panther’s historic (Marvel/superhero) nominations.
- Amy Adams is snubbed a sixth time .
Take A Swig
- “There’s no host” or variant thereof.
- A winner mentions they didn’t expect to win or don’t have anything prepared.
- “This is Yalitza Aparicio’s feature debut!” or mention of her lack of training.
- Cinematography, Film Editing, Live Action Short or Makeup and Hairstyling are explicitly mentioned in a winner’s speech.
- The Favourite is shut out of all major awards.
- Someone in your viewing party asks the difference between Sound Editing and Sound Mixing.
- Anyone other than Sandy Powell wins Costume Design.
- Lose your Oscar pool because you randomly chose your picks for the Short (Live or Animated) and/or Sound categories.
- Montage longer than 30 seconds.
Chug Your Drink
winsBest Foreign Film.
- Barry Jenkins wins for Best Adapted Screenplay for If Beale Street Could Talk.
- Glenn Close wins Best Actress.
- Rami Malek wins Best Actor.
- Roma wins Best
Throw Your Drink
- Ralph Breaks The Internet beats Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse for Best Animated Feature.
- Adam McKay wins Best Director for Vice.
- Christopher Robin wins Best Visual Effects.
- Mary Poppins Returns win Best Original Score.
- Green Book or Bohemian Rhapsody win Best Picture.